MarriageMotivationSpiritual Development

What A Husband Provides

Derron E. Short

 

So, today I was speaking to Kudzie and I was telling her about the dreams and visions I’ve been having. I have never experienced anything like this in my life. This is all completely new to me. She pointed me to Habakkuk 2:2 “Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a runner can read and carry the correct message to others.” There are some things I cannot share at this time but I will reveal when the time is right. Today, God gave me a revelation about what it means for a husband to be a provider.

YOUNG MEN SHALL SEE VISIONS

I was sitting in the car at the park and something very strange happened. Well, maybe this happens with others but it was very strange to me. I was looking out of the window and could see myself helping Ann. It was like I was watching a movie. I saw myself walk her to the sofa and then go into the bathroom and clean her vomit. I saw myself praying for her while she was sleep, helping her to get dressed, telling her that she was still beautiful, tying her shoes, wrapping her arm, holding the umbrella over her head, talking to the doctors, getting her medication, giving her needles, sleeping in hospital chairs, getting her favorite foods while in the hospital, and never complaining.

Please understand that I am not writing these things to bring attention to myself in any way. I am writing what I feel lead to write. I remember the times Ann would vomit. There were plenty of times she would vomit on me or all over the bathroom floor. She would often apologize and proceed to clean it up. There was no apology needed and I absolutely refused to help her clean it up. I would walk her to the sofa, place the blanket on her, make sure she had her phone to play her games, and then go back to the bathroom to clean the vomit. It was not a chore but a privilege.

A husband who loves his wife never makes her feel as though she is a burden to him... he provides emotional support during the difficult times. #HusbandRules #WifeyActs. Click To Tweet

AND THE POINT IS?

Let’s get to the point. While I was seeing these images I could hear the Lord say to me clearly, “PROVIDER”. Immediately, I got what God was telling me. Many men equate being a provider to money alone. For this reason, we (men) are lacking in other areas. We are required to provide much more than a dollar.

Ladies, I need you to pay attention to this. A man should also provide hope. My simple definition of hope is: the feeling that everything is going to be okay. He should be speaking life into your situation and not death. I know you think he’s fine and all but listen to his words. Is he speaking life or death?

EMOTIONAL SECURITY

A man also needs to provide emotional security. A wife needs to know that her feelings are a priority to her husband. As a husband, you can’t punch her in her feelings at 10 am and expect her to be over it at 10 pm. An obvious way of providing emotional support is by listening to her thoughts, feelings, and opinions. I speak with many couples and can often tell how the husband is treating the wife by observing her current emotional state. I am in no way saying that the wife is never wrong because that is not the case. However, nine times out of ten, if the wife is an emotional wreck, the husband is not doing his “emotional” job.

ENCOURAGEMENT

Husbands are also to provide encouragement. It is our job to encourage our wives wherever and whenever it is needed. There is nothing weak about letting your wife know how proud you are of her and that you support her 100%. And please don’t try to tell me that you are not good at it because you have no problem encouraging your favorite athlete or sports team. Okay, I’m leaving that one alone.

SPIRITUAL COVERING

One of the most important things a man can provide for his woman is a spiritual covering. For three years Ann and I could not make it to church on a consistent basis. Because she was allergic to everything, we were either in the hospital or at home on Sunday mornings. There was no person with the title of “Pastor” in our home. However, I was her pastor. I was the person who prayed over and with her morning, noon, and night. Also, I was the one she asked, “what does the Bible mean by this or that?”

I could not have covered her spiritually if I was more concerned for myself than her. There was no way it could be done if I was more invested in what Lil’ Nuck-Nuck and dem (homeboys) got going on than what’s happening in her life. There are some men who make these mistakes because they do not care and others because they were never taught. Ladies, you must be able to tell the difference and pray accordingly.

Let me explain the benefits of covering your wife spiritually. There were people in Ann’s life who are Christians and were trying to sow seeds of discord in our marriage from the day we were married to the day of her death. They would tell her not to trust me, not to trust men, I was cheating on her, at some point I was going to leave her, and so on and so on.

I knew what they were saying because Ann would tell me. Not only would she tell me, but others would tell me. I was hesitant on writing about this but the truth is that many are going through this right now. Women who cannot trust their own husbands will tell you not to trust yours. Likewise, any man that tells his daughters, nieces, or granddaughters not to trust any man is an indication that he is or has been an untrustworthy husband.

Their attempts to drive a wedge between us would never have worked because I was covering her spiritually. When a husband covers his wife there is a bond and a level of trust that can be broken by no one. No one on earth could tell Ann that I was not providing for her.

GOD REQUIRES COMMITMENT

This is the level of commitment that God requires from every husband. Let me clarify something. I am in no way stating that I am the standard because I am as flawed as the next person. It is the word of God that is the standard. When a man loves his wife the way Christ loves the church there is a bond between the two that cannot be broken.

Jesus decided to hang on the cross for our sins. Let me put it this way. The nastiest part of us was placed on him, and then he made us clean. Likewise, what Ann considered the nastiest part of herself (vomit, blood, and spit) was on my face, my hands, my clothes, and on the floor. It was my job to make everything that the vomit, blood, and spit were on clean again. Husbands, be sure to provide for your wives.

24 thoughts on “What A Husband Provides

  1. As always, this particular writing is profoundly powerful in so many ways. The term provider as you’ve described is genius to say the least. You have essentially spoken the hearts and minds of many wives concerning their husbands. Likewise, I believe you have given hope to many marriages as a result of sound biblical teaching. I am completely blessed by your transparency. Thank you so much for sharing your heart and GOD’s wisdom for marriages.

  2. Altought i never got the kind of support you are talking about in this blog post, I do agree 100% and I get it because I was giving that kind of support to my ex husband. It is the right way to love, the biblical way to love. Great post Derron!!!

    1. My husband of 17 years USED to exhibit this type of LOVE, then something happened in his head that changed EVERYTHING.
      He became a person who was mad all the time and I’m the person who became responsible for the world’s problems
      My nightly prayer is for the Lord to work on his heart.
      He has these moments when he says he needs to remember to love me better,I’m still waiting.
      I REFUSE to leave before the miracle happens.

  3. Such a prolific explanation for what God expects for husbands in regards to providing emotional, spiritually and financially as the priests of their homes and covering for their wives. Sharing your vision and experiences will be a model for men and a benchmark for women to expect. Not wanting to be you, Derron, but to be the best fiance or husband God has called him to be to his “good thing.” Keep writing God is speaking through you more now than ever before. -Rev. Unnia L. Pettus, Ph.D.

  4. What a powerful message and testimony. I observed you for three years being there for Ann during the times she was sick and spending many nights at the hospital with her and never complaining. I’m so proud of you my son and the man that you have become. Continue to let God use you.

  5. Derron you have a gift of seeing exactly what is required through God’s eyes for a husband. Always touching and uplifting. I am waiting for some men to come here and reply. Where’d they go?

  6. This is beautiful! Truly God inspired. Praying that men will take heed and become the “provider” that the Lord preordained. It may sound like a tall order but this is truly the prescription for true love and full commitment. On the other side of here however, may we the women of God remain respectful and courteous to our men; honoring them as the priest of our home despite our incomes, spiritual titles/positions. An awesome work indeed. Decreeing the release of your book and book/talk tours in Jesus name! Speaking expansion of your life and ministry. Think and prepare for greater. Greater is your name whether you want it or not. The earth has need of your gift, Man Of God. Blessings will chase you down. I decree it, in Jesus name!

  7. I am striving to be like this everyday for my wife
    Because Christ selflessly loved the church and I have to do the same

  8. I so enjoy this reading. My husband did not come into our marriage like your describing but later grew with the help of the Holy Ghost. I am glad God wouldn’t let me give up on him, I sure did try times to walk away, “but God” 27 years later thanking God for his keeping power.

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