MarriageMotivationSpiritual Development

Thinking of Ann

Ann Short

Two weeks ago I lost the most important person in the world to me. I was completely devastated because it was so out of the blue. This was not supposed to happen. She was supposed to be sitting beside me this very minute as I write on another topic. At this moment there is no other topic because I am always thinking of Ann.

Ann was and still is the love of my life. We were married for seventeen years and I would not trade those years with her for anything in the world. There is no dollar amount or physical possession that can equal what she meant to me. She was an elegant lady indeed.

BUILD HER UP

During the early years of our marriage, Ann had absolutely no idea who she was. She had been severely mistreated by people who were supposed to love her. For this reason, she had a hard time trusting and she especially did not trust men. I was included in that bunch. Her self-esteem was so low it was basically dragging on the floor. She was puzzled and scared by the fact that I seemed to be interested in her. I think this is a fear many women carry.

The state of mind she was in was very obvious but I could see past all that. I saw the virtuous woman she would become and it was my job to help build her up to that point. Over the course of our marriage, she would tell me that she was waiting for the moment when I got up and left her. She was looking for me to abandon her like everyone else did (her words). Another misconception she had was that all wives were abused and that’s just the way marriage went. She would say things to me like “all men cheat” or “you can’t trust no man.” I knew she was speaking from a place of pain so I did not take that personally.

That may have been what she believed at the beginning of our marriage but it certainly was not what she believed before she breathed her last breath. I made it my duty to show her differently. I showed her that she didn’t have to be afraid to disagree with me.

There are men who make their wives feel like they don't have a voice in their own marriage and this is not the way things should be. Click To Tweet

TREAT ME WELL

I often had to remind her that the worst thing she would get from me is an “I don’t see it that way.” She didn’t have to worry about being hit, called names, or being embarrassed. She was an equal partner in our marriage and not a silent partner. The more she began to grasp this concept the more peaceful our home became.

Being treated well was something she was very passionate about. She said, “There’s no need in buying me gifts for my birthday, Valentine’s Day, or Christmas if you’re going to treat me like crap on the days in between.” She was not only referring to me, but to all men in general. This may be a hard pill to swallow but she was absolutely right. She knew men who would buy their wives gifts on these occasions and then go back to treating them bad the day after and she made sure to let me know that this was not the way she would like to be treated.

AN ELEGANT LADY

As our marriage grew, we also grew closer and closer together. We would finish each other’s sentences or both say the same thing at the same time. I don’t want to give you the impression there were never any hard times because there were. There were times we didn’t have financially and we had the same problems as other marriages, minus the scandals. Life did not stop happening just because we had each other. But the point is that we had each other. There was nothing anyone could do to pull us apart or turn us against each other. And believe me, people have tried. One preacher stood in the church and said our marriage would not last two months, but that was seventeen years ago.

A few weeks ago one person accused me of “brainwashing” her and “putting stuff in her head.” I told them they were exactly right. I was telling her she was beautiful, intelligent, favored, and capable of doing anything she put her mind to. She was called names like virtuous, conqueror, and best friend.

I got the chance to watch her transform into one of the most elegant ladies on the face of this earth.  We would often run into people who knew her before she met me and they would compliment her on her appearance as well as her behavior. Many would be absolutely shocked at the lady they saw before their eyes. I would stand back and be so proud that she was my wife. She was no longer a bitter and angry woman but an elegant lady.

If I had my way she would be here today instead of me. I loved her so much that I would have easily given her my last breath. I’m taking it one day at a time as I’m trying to adapt to her not being here but it is extremely hard. We spent more time together than any husband and wife I know. My soul (mind, will, and emotions) was absolutely in love with this woman and I will always miss and love her.

The first book I write in 2019 will be in honor of our love. I love you Ann.

 

32 thoughts on “Thinking of Ann

  1. I was gonna suggest you write a book about yalls life together I feel like it’s gonna be a wonderful love story. I must say that you have made me feel like there is love out there for me thanks so much for sharing

  2. In reading this excerpt, I can feel how deep and powerfully devoted your love is for Ann. Many blessings and prayers.

  3. Absolutely Beautiful.. I look forward to reading more and getting to know your beautiful wife Ann and you all’s awesome elegant funfilled exciting life!!! You shared in marriage … what a blessing you were to each other.. what a blessing you all still are! My deepest condolences to you sir!

  4. Your heartwarming words about the love you have for your wife are encouraging, truly a “Cinderella story” from tags to riches. I thank you for sharing these stories with us

  5. Praise God this was absolutely beautiful such a beautiful tribute to your wife. I don’t know you that well but I know you good enough to know you loved her so much and she knew you loved her that’s what’s important. It hurt my heart when she passed cuz I knew it would hurt you 17 years is long time I’m going on 10 and I can’t imagine being without my husband my best friend. I to share a close bond with my husband, things are not always peaches and cream but we remember who we serve and that is our Mighty God. I’m not going to say you are not going to miss her forever because when my grandma died in 1997 my life changed dramatically and I miss her every single day not that my family never talks about her visit her grave😪 but I keep her alive in my heart. It will take some time but it will get lil easier to go on still but you’ll never stop missing her. I’m praying for you and your family thank you and your wife for showing me what a real Marriage supposed to be like. I to had to learn to trust God in order to Trust my husband cuz I didn’t trust men. But I thank God after I realized that he did love me and treated me like the queen that I am, things got better he is my help mate as your wife was yours. I believe one day you two will be together again. Man of God just keep doing what you’re doing I enjoyed this yes I cried because its not so often I would see evidence of a man really loving their wife and doing it the Godly way. Be encouraged she’s proud of you. God is pleased with you and that’s what’s important. Listening to you talk about her I felt I knew her such a special woman. Thank you for being my friend you’ve encouraged me a lot through things that I wouldn’t went to the right way, had I not got your post that really encouraged me to be better and to trust God in all things and that is so true I will be going through and I would look up at my phone there was a post and it will be the situation I was going through so I thank God for that connection because you helped me out a lot with your words of wisdom. And I’m praying my husband can be that man that you were to your wife, I know God is able. Keep up the good work this was very beautiful and heartfelt, God bless you Derron Short you are a god-send to a lot of people especially me. Be blessed as always many prayers and much love is sent your way 😍😪🙏Amen in Jesus name Amen🙏

  6. Here is to Ann! I just returned home from saying farewell to a dear friend of someone I love! I did not really know the person who passed away but after hearing all the lovely things about this person I felt I had a great picture of what his life was about! I loved being there for my friend! By sharing the story of your beloved wife it helps to add a glimpse into the beautiful person she was. And that is even hard to write! So thank you for sharing and be encouraged! Truly one day at a time!

      1. I am so very sorry for your loss..
        Thank you for sharing this inspirational post- a wonderful testimony..
        May God’s love grace you..one day at a time..

  7. Very inspiring story…I think how Ann thought of men is what am going through, but after reading how you treated her, I feel some hope in the air.thank you for sharing.

  8. I just hope and pray that when my husband finds me he is a God fearing man and that he loves me as much as you loved Ann. God bless you, this gives me hope that true love does exist.

  9. I will definitely purchase y’alls book. I have never experienced the loss of a spouse, nor will I compare any loss of pain period. Death hurts period. I commend you for staying faithful to God as God is staying faithful to you. I appreciate how you’re channeling your pain to allow your wife’s legacy to remain inspirational. As I follow y’all, I’m inspired and hopeful. I can identify with Ann’s story. I always say though the good men are in God’s treasure chest. Thanks for sharing y’alls journey. God still has favor upon you. We cannot understand certain things but we can rest assured that God’s love is UNfailing. Assignments are often unconventional. But God’s love remains UNchanging. I am praying for God to comfort you, protect you, strengthen you and guide/direct all your ways. I pray that souls will be saved and lives be transformed from your story. It’s so much I want to say, but I truly do not know how you feel. I do know God loves you. He is feeling this pain with you. He wants you for himself in this season. May your heart and your smile continuing shining for Ann. God bless you brother in Christ.

  10. I love you and Derron! I cried when I read this. We connected I felt her heart and could relate to her. This blog blessed me! Continue to write, people need this!

  11. Thank you for sharing what some have a hard time believing that love is real it is patient it is kind and there is work in love. When you live there are no limits to how far you will go and when you see them for the beauty they are and know they can overcome it there is nothing more than a beautiful journey. I believe you will continue that journey and I look forward to your upcoming books in the near future. To you and Ann.

  12. Beautiful I wish I would of gotten to meet her. We were so close to making that happen but I’m glad to have interceded for her before her passing it was a privilege. Much love to you my brother

  13. This is so amazing! I’m so glad Ann trusted you with her heart. Not many women experience this type of love and adoration. Her spirit simply captivated you. Please keep writing what is in your heart.

  14. DShort, I felt every last word of this. I am so honored that I got to work with you and Ann in a few of my plays. You two brought so much peace, joy, and undeniable talent to those plays. I love you brother and know that I will never forget Ann. Love you bro.

  15. Your blog was a beautiful story about faith, love, respect and dedication until the end. It made me smile and appreciate you as a man of God, who made a difference in the life of woman injured from her past. You are a wise man, who God taught to be a husband extraordinare for 17 years.

  16. This was just beautiful! A love story that blessed me! Blessings to you for allowing Ann to move from brokenness to wholeness! Only true love and God can make something like this happen! So many “bitter” women and hurting women, married or single can truly appreciate these words.

  17. Ann was truly loved by you. God will surely heal your heart. Men like you are so rare. Continue mourning her with your write ups if that will make you feel better.

  18. I’m almost speechless. That’s saying a LOT for me but I try to never miss an opportunity to praise a Love that God breathed. I try to bring health, healing and wholeness to any soul that suffers from the devastation that being human can bring. I cannot comprehend this degree of affection and devotion because I’ve never seen it for myself. I know we ascribe this love to God and His faithfulness to His children but God doesn’t shield us from pain or suffering. He doesn’t deflect the arrows and snares of the enemy on every occasion–like wonder woman and her wrist cuffs. I find myself trying to bring something new to your pain that will make the difference. I don’t think that’s possible. I know this is a road that no one can walk with or for you. We can support you and continue to pray daily for you, but resolution and peace comes with time and this wound is quite large and will need a lot of attention from the Great Physician. What I want to say (from the start) is that there is a ministry in you. Maybe one you never thought would be yours. But, the church is filled with confusion and false prophets who teach & preach their form of Christ. We need Men of God and Integrity to raise up a generation of Godly dedicated Husbands and Fathers. The heart of God’s church needs CPR with an infusion of Christ’s authenticity. Especially the Black church. We need so much help. May God continue to hold and comfort you through this season. Weeping endures for a night…Somehow Joy comes. This new book will heal many.

  19. The words spoken by you about your wife I will never forget. I Pray that the hearts of those in marriages and those seeking to be married will be quickened, and that their love will always grow! Thank you for allowing me, and so many others to have a glimpse into your lives!

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