In my new book Chains and Scars (available for pre-order), I cover the topic of misplaced loyalty. The placing of these words together is somewhat of an oxymoron. I can probably tell you what just happened in your mind. The inquisitive part of your brain just raised its hand and asked: “How can loyalty be misplaced?” It happens more often than you think.
My Loyalty Lies With…
The word “misplaced” here is not referring to something that is lost or out of sight. However, I’m referring to something that is in the wrong place or not where it should be. Some of us have made the grave mistake of pledging our loyalty to people who have chosen not to do the same. This often results in one-sided relationships that leave us offended, hurt, and confused. However, the other individual(s) seem to be having the time of their lives. Why would they not? They see nothing wrong with the dynamic of the relationship because everything is tipped in their favor. They are the only ones reaping the rewards of that deal.
The Unwritten Rule
Usually, the people who fall into this category the most are our family members. There is an unwritten rule that says, “I can talk about my family but you better not try it.” I understand the point, but that is one of the most backward things I’ve ever heard in my life. One of the most important lessons my mother ever taught my brother, sister, and I was that our best behavior should be reserved for those we love. We did not allow others to mistreat our siblings, but we were also not allowed to mistreat each other.
It’s time for you to take inventory of your relationships. You’ve been reluctant to deal with these issues because your displaced loyalty is just a branch rooted in your need to be accepted by them. Have you been noticing a pattern of loyalty that only goes one way? Do you have friends or family members that only show up when it’s convenient for them? You already know the answer. These are the things you must both ask and be honest with yourself about. Honestly, I suggest you make a list of who these people are and how those one-sided relationships have affected you. Then you must decide what you need to do to bring about a change.
Your New Year
Forget about New Year’s Eve because your new year begins today! Your blinders have come off and it’s time to move forward. You will no longer walk in fear in this area. Do you know why? God has not given it to you so you have no right to keep it in your possession. This is your season and you must be convinced that nothing will separate you from the purpose of God in your life. No hurt, no gossip, no betrayal, no drama, no fear, and no disloyalty shall separate you from being at your best, PERIOD.