Marriage

Dear Ann, This Morning Was…….

Ann Short

 

This morning was kind of hard for me because today would have been one of our days. The weather is absolutely perfect so you know we would have been on the road to DC or Virginia. I know you remember how we would jump in the car and not tell anyone. While in the car, I kept looking over at your seat imagining what you would be doing. You know I know you like a book. You would be on that phone trying to tell me about some game you know I do not care about. I just liked how excited you got about them.

As I was riding I listened to that song you wanted me to hear. I know people were wondering what was wrong with me because I could not stop crying. Out of all the scenarios we imagined, this was definitely not one of them. No one could have ever convinced me that there would be a day I would be here and you would not.

PROTECTED AT ALL TIMES

I just want to tell you how I’m doing. Although things are rough, they are nowhere near where they were the first forty-eight hours. The drive home on that Friday was awful. I saw a man and woman walking and she was near the traffic while he was closer to safety. When I saw this I had to pull over and get myself together. The tears began to flow again because I was thinking about the time you asked me why I kept moving to the side near traffic whenever we were walking. It got on your nerves at first until I explained it to you. I wanted you to feel protected at all times. I only got one or two hours sleep that night.

Saturday morning when I woke up I realized I must have been crying in my sleep because tears were coming down when I opened my eyes. Those first few days were brutal. I didn’t want to speak to anybody, do anything, or go anywhere. It came in spurts because there were also times I wanted to get in the car and keep riding. I was in absolute shock.

My greatest accomplishment as a man is the fact that my wife knew I would give her my last breath if I could. Click To Tweet

TWO BOXES OF FROSTED FLAKES

It’s been four weeks since you’ve been gone and it’s hard. As a matter of fact, this is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to deal with. As I was riding, my mind went back to all the times you said, “Derron, you are a strong man. Nothing shakes you.” I feel like now an appropriate time to tell you my secret. Nothing fazed me because I had you by my side. I felt like there was nothing I could not do, face, or overcome.

Your death has certainly been my kryptonite. This is the first time in my life that I can honestly say that I feel weak. I know God is with me and I’m surrounded by friends and family but still, you are not here. My heart was beyond broken four weeks ago. It was shattered into pieces. However, God is putting it back together as time goes by. I’m still writing. It helps me to deal with everything that happened. I know I will make it through this because that is what you would want. I almost forgot to tell you that I learned a new word the other day. You know I was all the way hype about that!

I got the message you sent about me eating. I just want you to know that I am. The first few days I had to remember to eat but since then my appetite has been okay. Oh, you already know I’m not a cereal person like you but Mom sent me two boxes of your favorite cereal. Yes, I got two big boxes of Frosted Flakes. I have to say goodbye now because I need to go get some milk. I love you little lady!

 

26 thoughts on “Dear Ann, This Morning Was…….

  1. Derron I know it’s hard but it gets better I lost my only Big Brother a year ago and it still hits me I can’t tell you it will be OK because It never does All I ask is that The Lord keeps me near Him and you also

    1. Unbelievable, he who giveth is the same who taketh, there is something about God that was neither written nor spoken. God is too spiritual. A portion of reality about God is still hidden, it’requires an extraordinary time to be spent genuinely with Him for such a gift to be revealed. Please, accept my condolence.

  2. Just beautiful. Thank you for your continued encouragement and strength that you are giving to so many people. ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿฝโค๏ธ

  3. Truly inspirational- a fine example that Love truly #LivesOn. I believe that your blog will also be a therapeutic tool for you, your family and others that share a similar experience…May the good Lord continue to Bless and keep you safe, strong and encouraged as you continue to lean on Him ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿฝ๐ŸŒน

  4. Awww Derron, I read this and I legit felt the tears. It took a lot of willpower not to let it fall. Itโ€™s easy to feel your pain cos there is no pretentiousness. Ann was loved..is loved. She died with that knowledge. Let that comfort you. You are surrounded by love always. Always

  5. Sharing your love story Derron can help others live the lives we’re blessed with, instead of just existing. If life is measured by the moments that take our breath away, I believe Ann lived a long fulfilling life. Keep praying, keep existing, keep living.

  6. All I can do is cry as I read the blog post and your twitter feed. I do not understand the why’s of this but I know in my hear there are purposes beyond your sight. I feel she is smiling down on you and cheering you on as you set an example for so many to see. I know she is praying for you from heaven. Thank you for sharing Ann with Us.. Thank you for being so transparent in your pain. I truly believe that millions will be affected by the ripple effects yours and Ann’s Love Story
    It doesn’t stop it goes on into eternity for you both were 1 with GOD who is eternal. I cry daily with you and your family.. As I’m sure many in the family of GOD DO. what a beautiful legacy you will have. Much more to come. Like Jabez HE IS ENLARGING Your Terditory
    Blessings Abundantly to you.

  7. Unconditional love not because of but in spite of. I thank God for you. You are going to make it my friend. Ann have never left you, she is walking beside you smiling hand in hand. I know she loves so much.

  8. I know this is very difficult but thanks for your transparency. God is faithful. I will continue to keep you and your family uplifted in my prayers.

  9. Thank God that you have those precious moments that you can reflect on and hold on too. Bless you man of God. I see classes too teach men how to love, treat and appreciate your wife.

  10. As I read this a sit and watch my husband watch Football..I know that I will go before him.. not because of Health but because God has shown this to me..it sounds crazy but I imagine how he will be here when Iโ€™m gone..how my hopefully Adult Children will be? I just pray to God itโ€™s me & not him because I donโ€™t want to be here without him! Is that Selfish of me? Always praying for you & hoping one day I get to tell Ann how much you Loved her even though I know she knew๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ’

  11. Wow, thanks for sharing your pain with us. This gives us a lesson to cherish each moment we spend with our dear ones and apprecaite them at all times. May God give you more strength to overcome your grief. And may Ann’s beautiful soul rest in eternal peace.

  12. Oh Derron, you are going thru exactly what I am still going thru and its over 3 years. Somedays I can’t function at all, still feel I am dreaming and still looking for my son. I ask God everyday to give me strength as I lose it at times..God bless you my friend. Take care of yourself please.

  13. Such a beautiful letter, thank you for sharing in with us. I pray for you Derron. God revealed to me that I would marry again; I know the man, although we are not together yet. I can only hope that he will love me as well as you love Ann. You are are an awesome example for men. You should write a book on how man should love their wives. Ann knew you love her well, and that is an incredible gift.

  14. Eat, sleep, stay motivated pray and share that love for Ann as you do everyday as you heal in this. Your a strong remarkable man of God and just know it will all be okay. Your taking care of you and thatโ€™s all anyone can ask for. Sending hugs of encouragement.

  15. Thank you for the encouragement that you are to others as you weather the storm of your life..
    It is a blessing to read your posts! Your love, and cherished memories of Ann still remain in your heart..! And, that; is a wonderful legacy.. Praying for you..God Bless!

  16. Wow, thank you for sharing. Such a beautiful note to Ann. I just found your page today. While reading what you wrote to your wife, I could feel your pain, love and the love she had for everyone. Good to know you know the Lord, with that said; โ€œto be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord โ€œ. I pray for your comfort and strength. This is a difficult time, but keep you ear to Gods mouth and he will continue to guide and protect you.

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